The Emotional Scars

 

Photo by lilartsy on Unsplash

When you get into a physical accident, either bumping into someone or falling down while walking on high heels that you have no experience in, you feel the pain. You scream, especially, when the smallest toe is hit-this makes you call the ancestors one by one. Where need be, you get medical attention. Have you paused and thought of an emotional accident or pain? Who takes care of that? Do you seek help or do you say it will all go away? With a physical wound, you see it heal and the scar sometimes fades off with time. You exercise your way out, and though it may take time, you tend to it with all your might. Emotional scars stay for a long time probably because we sweep them under the carpet. 

As long as you are alive, you go through issues. The lack or the presence of the issues can scar you. I am very keen not to undermine individuals' scars because of our uniqueness. For some the emotional scar is a result of losing a pet because the pet made them feel at home which reminds me of a dog I had as a child. Bricky was just an amazing dog and I felt hurt when someone poisoned it. For others, it is the words uttered by your caregivers, words that would crush you and the voice grew louder as you got older. For some, it is in adulting that we have been wounded. We are all wounded differently and for that no need to belittle others because you were not in their shoes. 

Emotional wounds have held you, hostage, because you have a version of yourself that portrays a failure, a nobody. You question yourself, walk around with imposter syndrome, panic attacks, an inability to negotiate different development stages, shame, and fear, physical sickness. This happens when we do not deal with the wounds effectively. The wound was not cleaned early enough and what seemed so small has spread and is lethal. 

 As with the healing of physical scars, emotional healing is possible. It begins with you. It begins with acknowledging the pain you felt and how it changed you. Take the step though difficult to face the pain. That is the first point of healing because you get in touch with your vulnerability. The pain will not go away on its own. Take it a step at a time. There is no rush and you are not competing against someone. It is your life. You are your own 'numero uno'  You can start now whether you are 15 years or 50 years. 

You need to challenge and reframe your words and perception to heal. I engaged with an acquittance 2 years ago and in our conversation, she shared a quote and her mantra, 'It is just a bad moment, not a bad day, not a bad life.' She had learned that as much as she had gone through a rough patch or do I say patches, she did not have a bad life. She took the responsibility for her emotions and protected herself to know she was important. 

When you realize you are your own responsibility you begin to heal. You begin to take back your power. You begin a journey of self-awareness. You begin to know your worth. You will undo so many things. The pain is not fun but sometimes the pain puts you at a certain level to know what you deserve and what you can tolerate. Understand we may never get closure from people who caused pain but you now take responsibility for your healing. We are all healing in our different ways. As you heal, a different version will arise. Extend grace to yourself when you become a new version of yourself. It may shock you because it will be a new normal as what you are now is a survival mechanism that is easy for you to crawl back into, it is familiar. But let go of the burden. For some, the healing journey is scary but I will say do it. A step at a time, setting realistic goals will help you heal.