We grew up socialized that the only place for a woman was the kitchen, homemaker, and giving birth.

That was the measure of a successful woman. As time evolved, we realized there is more to a woman other than the above-stated roles.

The other side of socialization is we normalize some vices because we do not know better.

We have told the women that success is measured by the number of children they have or holding on to a marriage that is abusive, after all,mwanamke ni kuvumilia. (A woman is to endure and not enjoy)

We have normalized sexual abuse and coined it as  Sexually Transmitted Opportunities (STO) for women to climb the ladder. A desperate woman with five smallmouths is not asked what papers she has, she is asked what is between her legs. And while the moral cops who seem detached from the world will start their preaching, remember a woman will sometimes do anything when pushed to the wall to provide for their children. 

We were told that women should not be found seated. They should work themselves out. Some will do general cleaning every day because a woman should not be rested and uf she does, she is lazy. In the evening, we are slapped with the sarcasm, 'What have you been doing the whole day?'

I hope today you will choose to challenge.

Challenge the measure of success set for women. Whether you have fifteen children or not.

Whether you are married or not, let that not make you feel some type of way. 

I believe that you will, today, challenge the biases set against women. Woman, you can lead in the market places, you can lead an organization. Believe in yourself. If you believe you can then cast out your net. Do not wait for someone to nominate you to position, go grab them.

 I have always told women and everyone in general, the reason why we do not have others leading is that we grew up believing it was selfish and wrong to nominate ourselves. Break those barriers. If you believe you can then go for it.

And woman, please rest. Stop washing walls every day because you were told a woman should be a homemaker. Stop rearranging your living room a million times because you have to be doing something. The municipal council is not doing a door-to-door activity checking the cleanest house. Rest for a woman is not a crime, rest is self-care. Rest from the house chores, rest from social media, we do not need 50 re-shares from you or your comment in every post. Some women without realizing have become slaves of social media, click the logout and rest. Get in touch with yourself

As we celebrate International Women's Day this year, I hope we take time to reflect on some things we need to challenge. Some are internal while others are external. The internal ones, are the real deal, begin by challenging those. Could it be you need to challenge your self imposed stigma and thoughts that we are lesser women, unworthy

You see unless we begin to challenge our internal thoughts first, it will be hard to challenge the external. That is where the battle is at. You cannot challenge gender inequality if you believe a woman has nothing to offer.

I hope this year's theme, 'Choose to Challenge' will speak to you and it will be the beginning of change. Go conquer the world, woman.

Happy international women's Day 

She looks at herself in the mirror,

Wondering just when she lost her beauty when she gave up on herself.

She looks at herself and realizes the glow she once had was long gone, the spark in her eyes lost.

She sees how frail her hands are, the wrinkles that are slowly but surely settling in.

She turns back and sees the scars that cover her back. Scars that were as a result of pain inflicted by the one who claimed he loved her. Maybe we need to find the real meaning of love or did it change and we never got the memo.

She remembers the choice she made wishing she could turn back. She has already formed a jury that has condemned her for life.

She feels her breathe though not as before but it wakes within her the dreams she had.

Dear Woman, this world is for you to conquer. You may be down but not done.

I know there are tears that you have cried for years. You remember the unkept promises, the lies shared and the truth untold. 

You are thinking of the times you have had to fake a smile to avoid the questions of, 'what is happening to you?' without getting help.

I know the times you have had to fake a stomachache so that your children would feed on the last meal.

Dear Woman, I know you have had to endure beatings every day because you were not sure of what people would say but then again abuse had been normalized and that felt okay.

I know of the pain of walking for hours in search of a job and how you had to put aside your pride and degree to do 'odd jobs' to put food on the table.

There are days you had to fight for your space in a masculine world that had looked down on you.

Lest I forget, there were days you barely slept because you had to submit assignments and had a 3month old baby to breastfeed. The assignments could drain you. But, you passed with distinctions. You are such an iron lady.

Oh, woman, you have gone through life's terrain, those that could assist and push you to your next level were just wolves in the making. It was conditional help yet they pledged in public how they would help unconditionally.

But dear woman, it is the experience that shaped you. 

Fighting for the spaces that you deserve even when others did not feel so.

Woman, stop downplaying your life. Rise. 

Through it all you have conquered, conquering and you will conquer. 

Now, look at yourself, dry away those tears, embrace the scars, they are just but a reminder of what you have overcome.

Fight for those spaces.

Do not settle for less. If respect is not served at your table then leave.

Allow lessons from yesterday's experiences to guide you, enjoy the gift of today, and plan for tomorrow. Look back and see where you have come from and look to the future and see the world you need to conquer. Then, begin taking steps towards the price.

Dear woman, you are worth more than you think, more than your conditions and circumstances, struggles and pain.

If you can be patient with others, be nice to yourself. You are doing a great job picking up yourself.

There is so much in you that needs to be tapped into.

Love yourself, take care of yourself. 

When you look at yourself in the mirror, speak to the beautiful girl that you see, yes beautiful with wrinkles on the face or not, fallen soldiers or not, curvaceous or otherwise. That girl cannot continue to be despised, she needs to be up. She deserves to see, experience, live, love, and be loved by the best. 

Do not feel you are too old or too young, dear woman, you can still glow and grow, speak life.

The past week we lost a great man. He had so many hats to fit in. He was an administrator, Christian, mentor, counselor.

Chief Francis Kariuki, aka, tweeting chief knew his purpose. He chose to defy the odds of living an ordinary life. He chose to impact. He had his motto laid down, doing ordinary things differently, in an extraordinary way. He ensured all our homes had water filters. I sat in meetings where he was a keynote speaker and without a doubt, he was filled with wisdom. He always had some punching lines that would make your seat uncomfortable. He made people get uncomfortable living in their ordinary ways. You just had to have a paradigm shift.

One time, I had a sit down with him, close to two hours lecture where I had to share my plans and what I wanted with life. After stating all my plans, he just asked me, "How are you planning to be extraordinary?" While he shared some ideas, I had to go back to the drawing board. Though the curtains have fallen, your name still lives in us. You came and did things in a different way, you touched lives. You gave room to learn lessons that will be used in our lives. 

This got me thinking. 

What do you have in your hand? What skills do you have? What knowledge do you have? 

We live in a world where we want perfection, to have everything so that we start on our projects.

We live in a world when we want the perfect time.

We think to be perfect we have to be rich and have positions.

But what if you were meant to be where you are? What if you need to have a paradigm shift to move you to the next level?

You don't need a perfect world.

You just need to do things extraordinarily.

Be the janitor who cleans amazingly.

Be the general doctor who treats extraordinarily.

The husband/wife who loves extraordinarily. 

Take time and reflect if you are using all the normal things you have extraordinarily. 

Probably, the world will be a better place if we all went the extra mile if we used all we had to make an impact.

Maybe families will be complete, happier, loving if we went the extra mile.

Probably, our workplaces would be conducive if we did things exceptionally.

One day the curtains will fall, but I hope you will have used all you had to make an impact and that your names will be curved in our hearts and minds and not just tombstones.

 I hope you will die empty as Myles Munroe kept on saying. Use up all that you have, your gifts, and better yet go the extra mile, do it extraordinarily.

Can you breathe? Then you have something in you. It may seem ordinary but use it differently, change the world, touch lives. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is promised, you have today.

Rise.

'Go conquer the world. The sky is not your limit. It is just stepping stone' that's what her mama said to her.

She packed her bags and was ready to begin the journey. She had some big dreams and nothing would deter her. She was focused. She was elated she was doing this.

She would leave a legacy. The world would know and hear of her exploits.

She figured out that this was a journey. Her purpose. Her vision. Her dreams. Her everything. She saw herself stepping on the skies and became full of herself.

Were others even going to match to her?  Who were they? What were they even offering? 

Wait!!!

Isn't that our story too often.

We have big dreams and visions and we look down on people and always full of ourselves. We feel we are the masters and even change our walking style.

It is high time to realize two is better than one.

I am because of you.

It is time we figured out soon that people are placed around us for a purpose. For the purpose for you to reach your destiny.