Is it just me or have you noticed the days are going by extremely fast? In a blink of an eye and the sunrise is here. In a blink of an eye, we are just towards the tail end of the year's first quarter. For some, it is a dream come true but to some, the dread is too much because if you take stock, probably there is nothing much that you seemingly have done. You are worried about the things that you have not accomplished. This has blinded you to see the little tiny progress you have made and that counts for something. You are more concerned about the things you are yet to achieve in a few months, which has robbed you of today's joy. 

But today, I want you to inhale and exhale and realize the much you have done. You have pulled yourself out of bed even on days you did not think you would. You submitted applications even when rejects were coming in fast and furious. You have shown up for yourself, sat with your feelings, and loved on yourself. You are working towards leaving an addiction. That is progress and a round of applause to you. But you know what, I feel your frustration because most times, we have been conditioned to see the outcome that we do not live through the process, but you are doing well. 

Things won't always happen the way you had planned. Your new year's resolutions may not be aligning. The promises from people have not been honored. I believe you are being unfair to yourself to think that everything has to happen as planned and at the exact second. This is the root of the frustration. This is why it is necessary to pause and track progress. You should evaluate what is in your control and what is not, because honestly, so much is happening around the globe that is beyond you, but how you respond to the events and adjust yourself and your strategies. And most importantly, I want you to love yourself. 

Are your goals realistic? Are they things you want to achieve for yourself or to prove a point to someone? It is never too late to redefine what you want to achieve. It is never too late to set new goals. Right now is the best time. Go back to what you have written down and evaluate yourself. Be authentic and put yourself first to a point where you want to do things for yourself and things that align with your values. 

It is unnecessary pressure to think everything will work out at once and, you may be setting yourself up for failure and distress. For that reason, evaluate the main goal and set mini-goals to achieve it. Be kind to yourself and notice the small steps. Enjoy the journey. Do not wait for the glory of the victory because as a human being, you will get there and want more. Live now, and enjoy the process. Put in the work and experience change. The process will not always be rosy and all fun but trust me, put in the work. Love yourself enough to know when to take a break. Walk with people who are for you and value your growth. You cannot achieve your set goals by having crowds of people who are dragging you. Do not wait to see the whole staircase, just make the first step. No one size fits it all. Your journey is unique. The sun will shine but for now, enjoy the stars and moonlight as it brightens your path.

The following takes place between 1^st January to 31^st December 2023. The series is called life with new episodes. Welcome to 2023. Some are recovering from the sins of December while others are recovering from the joy that 2022 is done and dusted. Yes, 2022 was that year, but we sailed through, and with that, congratulations to this other side. I realized after 2020, religious leaders are not saying, ‘this is your year’ well I am here to tell you this is your year. Depends on how you want to live it. It will be insane doing the same things as before and expecting different results. It will also be insane waiting for a perfect moment. 

'What are you planning for this year?' This is the question that dawns every January when we cross over to a new year and honestly, sometimes it can make one’s soul cringe. Some already have clarity of what they want to achieve, others have no clue what they want, and breathing is pretty much on the to-do, list. I do not know what your plans are but I do know one thing for sure, as long as you will be breathing there will be highs and lows and well if you are alive, still have a purpose.

I also know something else, this year has choices. The choice to remain in your comfort zone and the choice to break the ceilings and self-inflicted pain. The choice to continue with the same patterns and expect different results or break patterns. Whether to sit down with your emotion or walk away, is your life a walking race? The choice to know your value and live in your purpose. Choices will have to be made every single day. Reading this is actually a choice.

Something else, priorities. There are people that you need to remove from the list of your priorities, not because they are villains, but truthfully speaking some are devils incarnate. But before I digress, what are your priorities, who are on your priority list? Ensure that you are on top of that list because I realized you cannot pour from an empty cup. You need to take care of yourself, it is not called selfishness, it is called self-care. 

You need to have something to fuel you, honestly, sometimes it is more than passion, it is determination, and sometimes the pain. Find what will fuel your life this year without putting expectations of your happiness and joy on other people. You are giving people too many responsibilities that they do not deserve and do not belong to them in the first place. You are responsible for your happiness. The best person to love you is you.

Honestly, life will happen. There will be highs and lows but I dare say, live every moment. Enjoy every moment. Do not wait for the perfect moment to do something, to wear that dress, to tell someone that you love them, or to walk away. Just live, play in the rain, watch the sun as it rises and sets, and walk on the grass. Make memories. Every day is a special day. And when you lose because you will at some point, don’t lose the lesson. And as my therapist says, ‘Do not let a good crisis go to waste.’ 

We all have a new chapter of our lives, re-write your story. Re-write your mantra. Know your calling and step into it. Go do the things fear and worry had you say you couldn’t do. And I will never get tired of saying, write it down. Write down all the things you desire and want and I dare you, review them at the end of the year and see just how much you will have accomplished. I dare you to pick lessons from the previous years and live again. I dare you to see the sun rise again and enjoy the moon and stars as they light up your path. 

The previous week has filled the internet with sad news after the other. If it was not someone's passing on, it was an upsurge of Covid or a case of sexual violence.

It was sickening and depressing being on the internet but it was also a time to learn people. There are people that I thought were enlightened, I mean from their poise and previous conversations but then I realized I might be dealing with idiotic individuals in official wear. 

From today, don't place a measure of maturity as official wear, he might have borrowed it. It is very sad, that in 2021 we are still having rapists apologists and give excuses on their behalf. It is stupid to think and express his thought that a girl was raped because of how she had dressed or she agreed to some drinks so that was consent.

It is sick that a woman is physically abusive to the husband and no one will come out to say it is wrong.

I am so mad that we have normalized violence and blaming the victims. She was in the wrong place, she accepted to go out with a married and other excuses.

But going through conversations on social media, I realized one thing, we are a selfish lot that is why we have the capability of verbal diarrhea. 

Unless it has happened to you or someone close to you then you will not just talk for the sake of talking and commenting on posts.

It is selfishness that makes us not think, think in-depth of a crisis because after all, it did not happen to you or your daughter. 

It is selfishness that gives you the right to be deputy saints and therefore others but the perpetrators are wrong. 

But, what if we put ourselves into others shoes, maybe you would realize the survivor needs support more than ever

You know why some people have not accessed justice for years, it is because of your selfishness. If it did not happen to you, it does not matter.

It may have not happened to you but it might as well have. It might happen to your daughter, mother, son, wife.

I mean would you be talking the way you are if it was your or your daughter.

Think

Would you be bashing yourself for getting raped. 

Maybe when you think of it at that angle it sobers you up

I know people I can reach out for help and I know there are people that I need to keep my distance from just based on their comments, they are toxic and have a sense of entitlement

The survivor never gets back to how s/he was. The traumatic experiences change them.

We cry out on how we need a revolution from the oppressing systems that we have that have kept suffocating us. I think we first need a revolution of the mind, we need minds that are not shallow and myopic. Maybe we need independence from the colonization of the mind that have reduced us to cold and selfish people

Until we get in others' shoes, we will feel a sense of justification for our actions. We do not fight for just our rights. We fight for our rights and others. That's what ubuntu is but I had already forgotten it is now everyone for himself and God for us all

We need to get in their shoes to push for justice, because the coin may flip, and you may be the survivor. 

I have seen people hate someone and pass judgment because of how they look.

Seen others having a bag full of attitude because of what others said about a person.

What is more choking is one believing they are above others and need to be treated like kings and queens of this kingdom called Earth.

Sadly, one look at someone and you have already concluded that they are just filth and nothing good can ever come from them. After all, what good comes from a street child who has to fight through the garbage to find a meal?

You are hating on some people because of what you heard. Without validation, you have hated without reason.

But before you think high and mighty about yourself let me remind you to some you are the filth you see in others and if not, your skin will soon have wrinkles, and the beauty that makes people turn their heads will fade away. At least that's the reality.

I am not telling people not to have high esteem. I advocate for that but please do not be full of yourself and ignorant. That's a good combination.

Before you think you own the world and others are just passersby,  that you need to calm down and realize everyone in this world has a purpose.

The street boy that you feel is just a stench is the one you need when you have luggage too heavy that you cannot carry. They do the heavy lifting.

The security guard that you treat with no respect and leave him to work long hours because he is a mere security guy is important. He ensures that you are safe.

The domestic manager that you believe should not eat chicken because it is not meant for house helps, she takes care of your children.

I believe it is time we stop walking like we own the world, or better than others. It is time we treat people with respect, not for anything else but because they are human.

See, no one is special than the other. Some are just blessed with privileged with better environments and opportunities. Instead of jumping to conclusions and playing deputy Jesus how about you hold someone's hands and make them a better being.

Some people are just waiting for someone to hold their hand and show them the way and you will be surprised by the transformation that will be experienced.

This year, commit that before judging someone you will get to know their story. 

Be kind to the street child, streets are their safe place.

The masks are on but I would say, smile at a stranger whenever you can. Imagine it costs zero cents

Be grateful to the security guard and tell them, 'thank you.' You will not choke.

Kindness is what pushes people to believe their worth, to believe in themselves again. Kindness is neither expensive nor taxed 

Before you judge and come up to conclusions because you feel your ways and thoughts are right, ask yourself, 'Would I want to be treated the same way I am treating others?' 

If your answer is no, change.

When we crossed over to 2020, we all had plans, or better yet I had plans.

According to my plans, this was the year I would make it in life. From my church's theme, give me this mountain, I knew that this was my breakthrough. I had spoken to my friends who shared the same vibe. I still believe that even with everything, it is still my year.

I was elated to be in this new year. I had my vision board well figured out, my journal with some blank pages for me to scribble down my thoughts and achievements.

Until corona hit and I realized maybe, just maybe, though things would work out, it would probably not be how I had planned and in my timings. I know this is not just my story, it is a story for many of us. 

I have watched some lose their jobs, slowly slipping into depression, angry with life while entertaining a pity party.

I have watched others make the best of it and finding who they were, facing their old skeletons and fixing their crown.

But above all, I have learned the power of TODAY.

Making plans is not bad, by all means, make plans. I am a firm believer in knowing where one is headed.

But, don't forget today. We are focused more on future achievements that we forget about today. We are blind to see the baby steps and progress we have made. We are fixated on getting bigger achievements. After all, that's what that counts.

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a promise, today is a present.

Today, focus on loving you. Don't wait for tomorrow when you think you'll afford the best make up kit. Today, love yourself in your flaws, in your natural self. 

Today, forgive. Let go of the baggage you've carried for years. Let go of the bitterness you have carried over the years, because of the family that hurt you, the boss who was greedy to pocket your salary, the partner who left you high and dry.

Today, love on your children. Hug them tight and let them know how you love them. Yes, they can sometimes get on your nerves but you have today.

Today, stop the silly games and egoistic nature that your spouse has to apologize first or you will continue with nil by mouth. Take that phone, call your spouse and tell them how much you love them. Rekindle the love you once shared.

Today, pick up that dream you had and focus on it. You can still achieve it.

Today, do your work diligently regardless of your position. You're blessed you have that job.

Today, be an exemplary leader. Defy the odds. Be the remnant of good leadership that our world needs. Be that leader who makes a difference and leaves a positive impact.

Today, help out an individual jump to the next level without expectations because you have the power to. Stop being mean with opportunities and support.

Today, enjoy the things that you have kept on hold for a perfect time. Now is a perfect time. Dance in the rain, watch the sunset, play in the river, play some music, and dance with your two left feet.

Today, be proud of yourself that all you have done is survive through the pandemic.

When tomorrow comes, we will focus on it but today, live.

Today is the best time to do and be what you need to.

Today is all you have.

Enjoy the sunset and sunrise. Enjoy the breeze. Today is the gift you have.

There is the power of today, the sunrise gives hope that today is a new day and dawn and an opportunity. Stop waiting for tomorrow, it might as well never come. Use today.

She finally removed the mask. She was breaking down, her fifth suicide attempt wasn't successful. She was tired. A wounded girl that was forced to fake it until she made it, in reality, was broken pieces. She carried the family's burden and didn't have time to breakdown. She was a girl who was forced to cover the shame of defilement, to undergo the pain of silent grieving because she miscarried her two-month pregnancy. The beautiful presenter had to fight imposter syndrome because she had to battle with the thoughts of not good enough, second-guessing herself, and was at wit's end. 

The mask had finally fallen off.

She was now naked before me and she felt some form of relief.

My beautiful presenter was just a representation of the people in the community who are hurting yet afraid to reach out for help.

She represents a man who was defiled and sodomized at a young age but couldn't talk because of the societal pressure. 

Representation of wives who have to live with the pain of the cheating husbands to 'save' the marriage. 

Mourning for the loss of a loved one whom you should have treated right with love but it was too late to undo the acts.

My presenter represents you. You, who has been hurt vastly by the world. You, who has perfected the art of hiding the wounds for years because men are not supposed to cry. You, who has chosen booze and sleeping around with any Tom, Dick, Mary, and Martha to avoid the pain you felt when they left you. You, who has suddenly gone cold. You, who has lived with the pain of being hurt by the people who should have protected you. You, who is bitter with life because you had to let go of your dreams to fit into theirs but realized it was a raw deal.

But until when will you hide behind the mask. Until when will you bleed on the wrong people. Until when? Until when will you live in your past where things cannot be undone. Until when will you punish yourself? Until when will you push yourself away from loving, living. Until when will you block people who show you affection and care?

It is until you realize, it gets to a level where the mask is too much of a burden to carry. It is until the moment you realize you are human, prone to hurt and be hurt, prone to mistakes but still deserving of forgiveness especially self-forgiveness. It is until that moment you realize, you'll have to deal with your demons, the skeletons in the dark closets where chances of hurt, anger, regrets, joy, and all other emotions will be relived but in the end, it will be all good. That moment, you will be forced to look at yourself in the mirror and save the person you see.

It will not be an easy journey but you've got to heal, you will run for years but it will catch up with you. Allow yourself to heal the wounds. Scars will remain, but they will show how resilient you are. Scars will tell your story. But until you choose to remove the mask and seek help, you will just have wounds that have bled for long and leaving you lifeless. Remove the guise, for you first. It is now, the perfect time.