A Toast To Failures

 

Photo by Matthieu Joannon on Unsplash

I have not posted for the last two weeks because my social battery was low and fatigue took the better of me. The me before would have pushed myself to write and publish because I have a target but the evolving self is learning to slow down and admit that, I am only human.  That said, I had the privilege of being part of a fellowship that I had desired for the longest time. After three consecutive rejects from different applications in three days, I got a congratulatory message to be part of the fellowship. I don’t think my village doctors overdid their thing, I have learned sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some. And, that’s okay.

Metis had amazing activities to help us get in touch with ourselves and others. One that was probably an eye-opener was toasting to failures. When I read the toast part, I thought it would be a night of all the boys’ bands, Celine Dion, and Whitney Houston vibes. The 90s kids can relate but alas, there was the other part of failures. Why would we toast to failures? Why would we sit down to listen to failures? My wandering mind really wandered, but it made sense when we started the activity.

Through conditioning, we were taught to look at failures as the worst thing that could ever happen to us. We learned to look at failures as the greatest weakness and a cloth of shame. The emphasis was not on the lessons that we could pick to make life better but, on the shame, you brought to self, family, and community. I realized some had carried the shame of their generations and embraced it as their own. This is probably the point you hear statements like, ‘In our family, we do this and this. It runs in the blood.’

When you take a memory lane, there are ways you have failed. Remember the red flags you saw in the person but you felt they were not red enough and instead of walking away from troubles in your life, you put more firewood and you are in for therapy room twice a week.  Remember the get-rich-quick scam that scammed you from your inheritance. The job you let go or the job you slept your way up and the boss has been transferred and sadly no papers to maintain the position you were awarded. These are failures in life but we can toast to them. What failures have you experienced in your life? What is making you run away from them?

Sometimes, our failures at personal and professional levels are the engine of innovation. Other times our failures and conquest give hope to ourselves and others. Well, when we deal with our failures, they bring a  reawakening. My failures make me work for society to become a better place and break family patterns. My failures have given me clarity on what I desire and the kind of life I do not want. After dealing with all the emotions as a result of failures, I am a better version of myself. I am becoming.

After it is all said and done, cheers to our failures. Let us normalize talking about failures. Let us pick the pieces to make something new and better. Hasn’t it been said that broken crayons can still color? Broken as you are, failed as you have, you still are a puzzle that fits well in this game called life. My challenge is as we live through June, get in touch with yourself, become vulnerable to toast to failure, realize how failure has turned you, commit to working through the failure, pick the lessons, and become a better version of yourself first and everything else will fall into place. Do not become a prisoner of your failure. You could still make a better human being, an amazing partner, and a committed citizen.