Battery Low

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I think unknowingly we were conditioned to be ever on the move and sitting down aka resting was compared to a crime. You would do every house chore, do a thorough general cleaning and when you sat to rest your caregiver would destabilize your peace by saying, 'Yaani hii nyumba watu waliamua watakaa tu, hakuna kazi mnaweza fanya. Sijawahi ona watoto wavivu hivi' loosely translated, 'In this house, you have decided, you will just sit down and now work will be done. Lazy bone' One would wonder do they wash the gate, manicure the kitchen, but, that would be a wake-up call to make yourself busy. 

Flash forward, you are now an adult who is ever on the move, busy every single day, hour, and seconds. Some of us are not addicted to alcohol, sex, or gambling. Some of us are addicted to being busy. Well, well we are a busy nation trying to fix everything and make perfection out of it. We do not want to slow down. We have a million projects that demand our attention. The pressure gets worse with every day. But, what is your driving force for being busy? Is it a phase you are in or is it a lifestyle? Have you ever sat down to ask what makes you that busy? Some of you are looking for the status quo by being busy because we adore people who are busy and equate it to productivity and success, but is that true? 

Could your busyness be a trauma response? You are trying to avoid life's difficulties like family struggles, and difficult conversations. See, when we are not occupied with busyness our mind is free but we are afraid and not ready to sit down with our emotions and thoughts. Some of you are chasing success, chasing freedom and it is fueled more by quotes like,' There is always one person in the family who breaks the pattern. May that person be you.' You read this and there will be no rest at all. We want to live legacies, and that is not a bad thing. Are you addicted to the busyness that you are guilty when you rest? And then there is this economy that can make one go crazy. Left, right, and center there are bills to pay, a life to live, a family to redeem, advancing in life, goals to achieve, and it can get draining.

Like I said in my last post, I got to a point I was running on battery low. I felt my life was moving at a high speed. I am at a place in life where I have to make things work. Let's admit that Earth can be something else. You have to push yourself. It can be draining when you have to show up as a daughter, mother, leader, student, and every other responsibility that life brings. It can also be frustrating when you have put in all your efforts and the progress is kinda slow. Me being me, I have had a hard time taking it slow because all I know is being busy. It has taken my small circle to be intentional on rest, taking it slow and working on my perfection. 

I am here manifesting a trip to the coast, on the beach enjoying the sunset but before that, I am doing small things to recharge. The topmost is I have learned to say No. This was something that has taken time, saying no to opportunities that are not necessarily bad but they are not in line with my purpose. If you knew me before, I was doing everything. I have learned to delegate and trust people to do what they should do. I struggle with my sleep but I am learning chamomile tea does wonders. I have learned that everything I desire will come to pass but will not happen at once, reducing the anxieties and the urge to do everything all at once. I am appreciating self-care which includes taking time off to recharge without feeling guilty. And when you ask me if I am busy, there are days I will tell you I am busy, which means busy sleeping. 

Like a phone, we charge it for it to be functional. A battery low or a dead battery is not useful. The same case applies to humans. You have to charge yourself up. Deal with your emotions, and traumas so that when you relax, the ancestors will have nothing on you and guilt-trip you. I am a work in progress, you are a work in progress but it requires intentionality. Your best version can only show up if you take care of yourself.