We Keep Evolving

 

    

                                                Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

I imagine how many people walk around frustrated but have to show these happy faces. They post pictures on social media for dopamine but in reality, they are drowning in their sorrows. I believe being conditioned to be just that one thing in life is suffocating. I probably have mentioned that we are all talented in different ways and you can utilize everything in you. I like how the Late Myles Munroe would emphasize how every human should die empty. I think what is more frustrating is living a stuck-up life because you believe you must become what you wished for when younger without any alterations. I am not saying that you cannot become what you aspire but it is essential that you allow yourself to evolve.

I recently bumped into my old journal and vision board. I recognized my handwriting but weuh the things that I wanted to achieve were from a point of woundedness and external evaluation. I was not doing things for me. That time, I had written down what I wanted in my future mpermanent and I honestly think that man was non-existent or probably the Lord would have created a new bale just for me. I admit I would have been the toxic person in that relationship. I wanted to do some projects and looking back, and becoming more self-aware I did not have the grace or the patience to do so. Imagine if I continued and said this was a must-do. I would have been more crushed and hurt other people along the way.

When I became intentional about working on myself, I evolved. I became a better version of myself. I did not water down the experiences I had gone through, both the beautiful and ugly because they shaped who I am and I picked the lessons. I began to realize what I desired from a point of healing. I began letting go of this version that I thought I should keep that was not serving me right. I began looking beyond the make-up. I learned that I keep changing, experiences will change me and I should not expect to be the same person I was yesterday.

I think this came with some sense of relief because self-awareness sometimes is not funny. You get to meet with all the versions of yourself. Sometimes it can be something else and we tend to go back to the familiar because that is what we know and we are afraid of the new version. We tend to doubt ourselves because we imagine we should be stuck in specific ways. This could be one of the reasons you cannot leave your toxic job because the voice of your mother keeps ringing in your mind of how the uncle helped you find that job and leaving would equate you as an ingrate. You imagine that you must become a doctor because everyone in your family is yet you are gifted in the community. You stick in abusive marriages because in your life the title Mrs. is more important than life itself or you had told yourself that when you grew up you had to get married.

However, self-awareness is the beginning of freedom, the beginning of letting go of the different burdens you carry, the beginning of becoming. I want you to know that you worked with what you thought was best at that moment. But I also want you to know that you do not have to crucify yourself especially when you begin understanding yourself better, you understand the need to forgive yourself and make better choices. I want you to know at any point you can change your life’s path. And finally, I want you to know change is inevitable, when it does, do not fight to go back to the old familiar version. Be courageous enough to live life. You made some choices because that was the trending thing, now you can make choices from a point of self-awareness and healing. It is time for self-evaluation. Sometimes the things we want to do and become are not necessarily bad but they are not meant for us. It is okay to restart, reprogram, and refresh.  It is okay to become who you should be now.