2023 Reflections

Photo by Juan Davila on Unsplash

 

As I sit down to pen my last article for the year, I am in awe of how life can turn out. I am open to accepting that not all my New Year's resolutions will be fulfilled and wise enough to realize there are things beyond my control and it is okay. I am human enough to understand that I am emotional and I will question things and feel hurt.  I am wise enough to know as one person would always tell me how my life is likened to a bus, some people will get off at some point and others will get in and such is life. There are some whose memory will ignite and charge you and others whose memory will be a thorn in the flesh. I know every day brings its lesson, learn from your mistakes, transitions are part of life. But most importantly every day is a gift, open it. 

Speaking of lessons, I have learned the importance of being human. A human being will show up and can show up in all forms depending on the circumstances but most importantly to be vulnerable and evolve. I have learned to close doors that should not have been opened in the first place. I have learned to be vulnerable enough to know where I have gone wrong, talk about my hurts and question things, unlearn, and set boundaries where there were none initially. I have learned that people will benefit from you if you are stuck in a specific version. It is also sad when people do not think that you should evolve. I think people forget we are human beings, we are vulnerable, we make mistakes, we wrong people, and we hurt and hurt others in the process of interaction but also because we evolve each and every day, we are allowed to make different choices. You are allowed to redefine things. As you discover yourself, you realize that you are allowed to change, you are not a stone. Being human is also you calling yourself out of your own BS and stop playing angel who comes down on Earth every morning. 

And most importantly, I have learned to live life in the present. I have learned how fragile life is to wait for a perfect moment. I have watched the sun rise and set, the stars and the moon lighting the path. I have cried as well as have laughed hard. I have loved hard and still loathed with the same intensity. I have danced in the rain. I have received and given love even with broken pieces because that was the present moment.  I have learned that I can rest and the world will still go on, I have honestly struggled with this aspect of my life. I have learned to be grateful for opportunities, seasons, and people.  But, I think one of the most amazing things I have learned is that dreams eventually come true and that the universe aligns everything at the right time.

I know we are busy winding down the year, vacations, going to the village to wonder how guys of ushago eat brown ugali and guys of town just understand pizza. I know you want to go break the home bank and see how much savings you have accumulated in this economy. I know we are busy going to our traditions where we pretend that we are a happy family for the pictures because mum ordered siblings to take pictures to show her Chama members. I know you are dreading to go home because of the usual question, 'Bado hujapata mtu?' I know you are already stressing about next year's fees and plans. But in all these, pause, take a deep breath, and connect with yourself. Appreciate the journey of becoming. No one said it would be easier, to look back and appreciate the person you have become and ask yourself, 'Did I live life? Did I hurt others as I put myself as the center of the universe where things revolved around me? Have I picked life lessons? Are there things I need to let go? Are there people that I should appreciate? Some of you need exorcism but therapy would be a good place to start. We have been so accustomed to a busy life that sitting down with ourselves becomes a struggle, but I challenge you to do that. We have been accustomed to the blame game but what do you need to work on?

Enjoy the remaining days of 2023 and we will meet as we crossover to 2024  to Shusha Nyavu with Shusho and well I pray that your 2024 begins with a positive bang but most importantly I hope you realize your worth and you will learn to give yourself the energy you give others. I hope you will allow yourself to breathe and fill yourself. I hope you allow the child in you to enjoy. I hope you are celebrated and not tolerated. You deserve the best. 

Thank you for keeping me company and reading my articles. I am grateful you read my reflections throughout the year. Y'all have made me grow and become a better version