New Year, Intentional Year

Photo By Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

"When is the deadline for wishing people New Year tidings? Does it have an end, though? Anyway, welcome back and I hope the new year serves you quite well. One thing we can agree on is this has been the fastest January in history. Welcome to February where suddenly not all men are dogs, but they are called babe, mi amor, and all because of the pressure of one day, Valentine’s Day, and probably your relationship will expire on the thirteenth of February.

When was the last time you had time for yourself? I am not talking about the me-time you have to babysit your grown friends in a club. I am talking about the time you got in touch with yourself. Not the binge-watching kind. As we crossed over the year, I got time to reflect on so many things and just observe the surroundings and I realized quite a number of us are marathoners running away from ourselves. Some of you are already fatigued and no, it is not the 40 days of January or the pressure of what to do for your many partners during Valentine's. It is the running away from yourself.

We have become social media addicts, people pleasers, busy addicts, sex addicts, and drug addicts because we barely connect with our own selves. Please do not get me wrong, we have been created as social beings and so, by all means, interact with people, and make memories but the problem comes in when you use all these as an escape. Are you really the life of a party and the entertainer of the group or are you avoiding uncomfortable emotions? Are you a logical person in the group or are you just afraid of self-reflection and finding out that you probably have esteem issues, daddy and mommy issues and you were the unloved child growing up? Are you afraid of walking some paths solo because you are afraid that no one will validate you and that is where your ego feeds from? Are you afraid of being vulnerable so you cannot sit down with yourself? Yet, you open up to your friends and they are international reporters reporting on the breaking news. Are you really a clubbing person, player, and bad boy/girl or is it just pressure and fear of missing out?

Knowing better is just not enough; real transformation comes when you do better. This is 2024, and I know that we all have these resolutions, and my hope is that the self-improvement journey is one of them. The process is not always a walk in the park but self-awareness is a lifelong journey and fulfilling. Sitting with yourself will make you realize that some friends need not be in your life. Sitting in silence and walking some journeys solo will make you realize it is just orgasms that have fixated you in a toxic relationship that cannot be saved and you are a walking skeleton because the relationship has sucked you up. Sitting solo to reflect helps you realize that you are probably living someone else’s life and it is draining you. Some of you are just forcing issues to become doctors and get married to a doctor so that each statement you make will be, ‘Daktari and I. You know Daktari took me to the Maldives. Daktari fed me yesterday. Daktari this. Daktari that.’ And all this while there is an artistic side of you that needs to be unleashed. All this time, you are on autopilot because of titles that run in the family. Some of you are toxic to people around you, but you have refused to sit down with yourself and introspect and the statement is always, ‘This is how I am. I can’t change.’ Tell me why you would be toxic and own it and do nothing about it. It is because you are just afraid of being vulnerable.

I know it is pretty hard sitting down with yourself and walking some paths solo but trust me it is necessary. We must start the practice if we want to live different lives. It is not just enough being with people, masking in music and social circles. I know it can be daunting to you especially if you are used to sweeping things under the carpet. I know there is what you call normal to you but probably it isn’t. It is what you find yourself doing. They say the new year brings new things. Well, one can change their lives at any point and if they are intentional. I hope this year makes you get in touch with yourself and make your life better. Fill yourself up with the goodness. You are not curtains that are probably changed once a month and if in some bachelor’s house once a year, you are meant to evolve every day. Take the challenge to walk this path and become a better version of yourself. You deserve to live the best version of yourself. You deserve to live an authentic life. You deserve to live a good life."