I Am The Toxic One

He is a toxic one. He has some characters that I am sick and tired of. An unsupportive child of a human being. He is making efforts though minimal. Why can't they do things, like other people?

Why won't she understand things and do things my way?

Nobody cares for me and needs me.

These and other statements are what we commonly say or hear when complaining about others.

We are very quick to point out the toxicity in others.

But could it be that you are blind to your toxicity or you do not want to admit that you are?

It is rehab time. It is a self-audit time.

Some of you will be there for people in their lowest moments, such a noble thing. But when they thrive, you never want to be close to them. You almost choke to death at the thought of their success. You are threatened by their growth. You feel you are the only one who should be above. You undermine their success, 'You built a mansion but it is out of town, how will you cope? That job is okay but who will you leave the children with.' Toxic person.

You have an account of every wrong thing the other person has done. Word by word, step by step. 'I remember in 1988 when you had your green shirt on, at 11; 01 am you stared at me and abused me. Decades later, you keep reminding them of the episodes and the fact that your heart has never softened to forgiveness. Current state, you demand and expect forgiveness. Toxic traits.

You are Mr. Perfect. You expect everything to go your way or no way. With you around, there is no opportunity for a mistake. You correct people but in a way to demean them. You are superior to others 

Do you always do some disappearances acts in the heat of a conflict? You blue tick her and she is left confused. She comes up with different theories, concludes and you are there thinking about how you are teaching her lesson. She needs to see your worth and respect you and that's how men are cultured to resolve issues. You do not think for a moment about having a sit-down. Couples should solve their issues in the same camp and not against each other. Dude, you are toxic.

One of the most difficult things is to admit our areas to work including being a toxic person. We all want to talk about our strengths. 

Sometimes, it is easy to be toxic without much effort.

Could it be you are bleeding on people that never hurt you? Could it be your defense mechanism to something that you do not want to face? Be intentional in seeking help.

Are you willing to receive feedback on areas to work on and be intentional in change?

Are you willing to let go of your ego to save a relationship?

Are you willing to be present and fit in other's shoes and critically ask if you would want to be treated how you are treating them?

Are you willing to leave your toxic nature and work on yourself?

Are you willing to admit your vulnerability, that you are scared and prone to being hurt instead of being toxic? You are not a superman and you can get hurt. 

Do not let yourself be blinded by the toxicity inside of you. Admitting that you are toxic is the first step to work on yourself. Can you breathe, then you have an opportunity to be a better person every day.

Do not walk around with too much baggage and garbage. Free yourself