Love Lessons

 

Thriving couples on Facebook has given many sleepless nights. Those who said marriage and relationship is a scam are left wondering.

Singles have the desire to move tents and camp in a new territory.

Love is a beautiful thing more so when you get the right one. The right one is relative.

I read over one hundred posts, beautiful stories that give more hope than pressure, that love is a beautiful thing and it works.

I picked a few lessons.

I think the sooner people stop comparing their love story the better. Do not be fooled on these streets. Everyone has their unique love story, from how they met and how their relationship started.

Others met in burials, some in hotels, and quite a number online. Some relationships started with a hi while others began with,' it is not safe for you to go back home now' and after 20 years they are still in the safety zone. Maybe you need to save yourself from stress and own your story. This is not a competition. Some met and they began life from scratch and together they have made progressive steps. Others met when they were both cleaned up and problems were not written on their faces. Some found love in their twenties and others in their forties. It is the uniqueness of love.

Stop giving human beings responsibilities beyond their capabilities. Your partner will never complete you, it is not their job. You are complete the way you are. You just need someone to compliment you. He can help cover your weaknesses but only you can work on them. You need someone who will help you accomplish your destiny.

Those that are married did not just find themselves there, they were intentional. Intentional in being present and making their relationship work. These genders are funny species. One gender will wake up accusing you of sneering at them and even mention they saw it in a dream. The other gender will complain that you are no longer the caring party because they can't see a pair of socks that they misplaced. This may escalate a big fight. They have learned to work their way through the fights because no couple is perfect. Couples have to be intentional in making the relationship work. Your religious leaders and friends you share your issues with will not make it work. It is you and your partner.

Fight from the same camp and not against each other.

Love takes time, it is a journey. Yes, we live in a microwave generation, wanting things instantly but let love simmer. Let it grow progressively. Give each other safe space. Stop suffocating each other. Stop thinking it will happen suddenly but give yourself time to know each other and let love grow. There is no award in getting married at 30. This is your life and lifetime decision we are talking about.

While marriages are thriving, individuals are sitting wondering where life changed lanes. Some went through tough experiences that made them believe love wasn't meant for them. Heal from your past and find yourself. Not every man is the same, not every woman is the same. 

To the ones whose marriage is on the rocks, If possible, rekindle the love you once had. 

Singles are wondering where they will be found by fine men. I know they can be found anywhere and everywhere, but do not expect them to drop down like manna on your doorsteps. Women go out there, started attending GNLD meetings, who knows, maybe he is there. 

But above all, find someone with whom you will love each other to be naked and unashamed. Find someone who won't force you to change who you are to be accepted.

I hope you find someone that will be on the same page as you are and present in the relationship. I hope you find someone with whom you will create your own love story. I hope you find someone you can fall in love with every time you see them.