Beyond Your Grandmother

photo courtesy of Danie Franco 

 I am seated relaxing after the Christmas period where no one knows the exact day it is, and we do not have any Wahala about it when my daughter asks me, ‘Mom, who gave birth to your grandmother. Is she the only one who was born and then your mom?’ I could swear my daughter had read through my notes for 2022, but it was more of a confirmation that I needed to go back to writing and more so on our existence. I am not bringing up another theory. But my daughter’s question struck me more because it meant I also had to go deeper back to my roots.

I know a majority of us have taken time to write resolutions and things we want to manifest and achieve. It is not bad; I highly recommend that. However, aren’t you tired of the same patterns of life that keep holding you back, derail and delay you?

Like my daughter, I will ask you, ‘what is beyond your grandmother.’ What is your origin? What have you inherited from your family? What are your family patterns, the good and the bad? How do you name your children? Was there love in your family or anger in your family that even the devil fears your clan?

There are so many patterns we get from our history, background.

I desire to live differently and pass it to my generation. I hope it is your story too. For this to happen, sometimes, it means going back to before your own birth. To be different, you need to be different.

I have heard people say how their family is full of thieves, other scholars, some dysfunctional. I want us to start a journey of self-awareness and discovery. I want us to change our family story by looking back. If there is anything you owe yourself, it is to build a different life. If anger came from your generation, anger does not need to trickle down to your next generation. If love, peace, mercy, joy were experienced from the first generation by all means let it trickle down to the next one. By all means, let light keep shining.

For the next few days, I want us to take a journey back and reflect on the history. Go back to your family, ask questions, check out pictures and family albums. Ask your relatives if they are still alive, about the history of your family. Where did they live? What levels of education did they achieve? What kind of upbringing did they have? What values were instilled in your family? Did the marriages last? Were they monogamous or polygamous? When did the relatives die and where were they buried? Note all the patterns, the good and not so good. EVERYTHING. I know we are busy making ends meet. But I also know we all have an innate desire to do things differently. After that, sit down and reflect on the things you have received from your family and you have passed down to your children. Look out at how the events have made you who you are now? Are you happy or sad? Do you want to pass it down to your generation and I will see you next week?

Life is beyond your grandmother and her name. It is what you went through that makes you who you are now. You are only going to your past, not to change things because you cannot, but to see how you have been affected and change your life now.

It is 2022, be intentional, grow and glow. It is the year we sit down with our emotions and face them. It is the year we stop hating our cousins for reasons known best by our great grandparents. It is the year we purpose to be different. The negative chains end with us. Over the next few months, I will poke you to take action.