This Is For The Men

 

Photo by john amachaab on Unsplash

Men should not cry, not show their emotions, a man who cries is a coward, and other short false stories. This is what we learned as we grew up. A boy would cry and the next thing you hear, ‘Why are you crying as a girl?’ The vulnerability was left to the girls and women. Now, as adults, we have some men who are unable to express their emotions because they are afraid. Afraid they will be seen as cowards. Afraid they will not be ‘men enough’. Afraid of a judgmental society.

June is men’s health month and mental health is part of health and these are conversations we need to talk about. I can’t remember the name, but there is a movie I once saw about a man who was going through a rough patch but his ‘boys’ had no idea. They would hang out for drinks and catch up on football and when everyone was gone, they individually went to their cold nest. We have heard stories of Ooh he was okay, laughing and chitchatting, we were with him, how could he have died by suicide? We have seen trending masculine days where men are taught to be men and toughen up and anything short of this is a simp. No wonder some men are sick and hurt other people but need to act as men. Hurting others is synonymous with being a man.

What if we allowed men to be vulnerable with their emotions and speak of what they are going through? What if we allowed men’s tears to flow freely? What if we allowed men to just talk about their fears? What if we allowed men to have emotions? What if we allowed men to be human enough and not expect superhuman? The world would be a better place, right?

Did you know men struggle with their esteem, finances, and body image? I know some cannot fathom how men struggle with some areas but in my line of work, I have seen this. I hope we allow not only safe but brave spaces for men to open up and be whom they need to be. Our societal expectations, culture, masculinity, and gender roles do not give them the privilege of being human.

This is for the men; I want you to know it is okay to have meltdowns and feel hurt and concerned. It is normal to go through the different phases in life. You are human. I also want you to know that there are safe spaces to become the best version of yourself. You can become. I also need you to know that to become the best version of yourself, you will have to work on yourself, deal with your wounds, and you have to walk the journey. I know it is easier said than done, easier putting the responsibility on others and not yourself. But, this is work you only can do. As we create safe spaces, are you willing to put in the effort to become the best version, and face the traumas, shame, and fears? I know society is sometimes not kind but I hope we can make the world a better place especially when it comes to your mental health. How about a challenge today? Ask a man how they are doing. And pause and wait for the answer.