The Sunday Best Dress

 

Photo by Veronika Diegel on Unsplash

If you grew up in a traditional African setting, especially in the 90s and early 2000s there was a culture that was passed down. It could have been due to a scarcity of resources. There was one outfit dubbed, 'The Sunday Best Dress' that would only be worn on special occasions. When one was in their Sunday Best, the behavior changed, and the walking style was also different. If you were found wearing this outfit on a different day, it would have been war, 'Munaona sasa mlifika, nguo ya kanisa mnavaa kila mahali.' (You think you have made it and can wear Sunday best everywhere)You would go back home and immediately restore to factory settings. 

Then there was this other culture. Our mums had so many cups in what we called cupboards back then. They would qualify as wholesalers and distributors. However, the cups that were frequently used in the house, especially the metal ones would be recycled until they got dents and if they had a voice, they would complain about how they were being used just like we are being used by politicians. 

The other cups were set aside for religious leaders, visitors, and suppliers of neighborhood grapevine. In most homes, the mums would shout, 'Ikobe cia atugateri ne cioke'  (Bring the Bishops' cups) pardon my horrible Kikuyu. They would be served in high-quality luminarc glasses, and the children of the house would be served in plastic cups that needed to be buried.

Most times, their meals would be different. The chicken would be prepared. If your mum was woke she would give you pieces before serving, but most times, the visitors would eat first. If you had the privilege of being present when they were eating and had a gift in staring deep into the eyes, you would survive because the visitor would feel uncomfortable and say, 'Kijana have you eaten, take this piece we eat together.' You would take that piece smiling wickedly, and eat peacefully before the war after they leave.

Fast forward to the current date as an adult. How many 'clothes' have you considered Sunday best that you cannot wear until a specific function. How many things have you put on hold until a specific special time? How many things have you shelved away for other people to come to enjoy on your behalf? 

The truth is most of us have abandoned ourselves in our adulthood. We will not take ourselves for coffee dates because we are not going with other people and there is no special occasion. You are waiting for this perfect man to come and sweep you over so that you can cook delicious meals and use the plates that you have bought with your own money to win him over. The same plates that you cannot use on yourself. You are willing to sacrifice your happiness to make other people happy. 

You will not dress up, because you are waiting for a perfect occasion. Which one? Some of you can't even faint in peace because the tattered clothes inside will be an embarrassment. You were waiting for the perfect weather to wear the sunny dress but it is freaking cold at the moment. 

I hope you let go of the idea of a perfect moment and embrace the present moment. I hope you let go of the idea that other people deserve better than you and you have to deal with crumbs. You are used to crumbs such that what you only accept is just a bare minimum, yet you deserve more. People will not show up at their best because they know that crumbs are what you accept, they can text you at the beginning of the month and go silent on you because they are busy. But you will get excited because they wished you new month's good tidings and wait for the next month. 

I hope you have the guts to burn the plastic cups and enjoy life from a finer place. You deserve the best. I am not saying don't be present for other people but truthfully speaking you cannot pour from an empty cup. I hope you have the guts to let go of the crumbs offered to you and wear your crown elegantly like the queen or king you are because you deserve better. You deserve to love on you. When you were a child you did not have the power to voice out, now as an adult you have the power, skills, and resources to do so. 

In one of Ronan Keating's songs he sings, 'Tell that someone that you love just what you're thinking of, if tomorrow never comes.' Well, I will just say, enjoy the present because we are not sure about tomorrow. Love yourself and allow yourself to be loved and receive love. Reclaim yourself, and your worth, and don't settle for less. Why settle for being called Wa Ng'ania when you can be called sunshine?