Now that you know, be different. The pressure of awakening is the realization that you cannot continue living like you do. It is the realization that you are the cycle breaker in the family and you need you. It is the realization that you are disrupting a pattern, recognizing your own dysfunctionality and you no longer want to fit in. 

I will be honest with you. It is not easy going back and sitting with your pain but that is the beginning of liberation. You cannot fix it if you cannot understand it. The truth is you have the most work to do for yourself and on yourself. 

Until you are willing to heal, you cannot heal. This is the first step. Most of you have already normalized your unhealthy lives and see it as okay. I have heard people say, 'this is how we are, we cannot change.' STOP. That is not how you are, that is how you were conditioned, that is your defense mechanism. 

That is why there is a need to unlearn, relearn and learn. Therapy is key. The investment made on self is never a waste. Invest in you. This will actually be the motivating factor. In my line of work, I have found those who have purposed to be in therapy, make tremendous progress. Allow yourself to heal through the process. Stop giving yourself deadlines that you must have healed by a certain date or heal like someone else. Why? Because the healing journey is different for different people. Trauma and socialization are different for all of us. Some of us have to heal from numerous sexual abuse from caregivers, some need to heal from negative remarks, others need to heal using sex as a defense mechanism. Some need to heal from the shouting and the trauma inflicted. We all are healing. It is your journey. Heal at your own pace. 

In the process of therapy, you realize you need to forgive yourself for thinking something is wrong with you. You let go of the negative patterns and you begin learning. 

I also realized that breaking the cycle takes courage, but it needs you. In simpler terms, this is a journey you might have to go solo. Why? Because of our normalization, we think everything is okay and are fixated on that. 

Stop harboring self-limiting beliefs. You were not born a failure. What happened to you made you believe and think something is wrong with you. 

Live, Love, Laugh. 

Pick that phone, seek help and meet with your therapist. The beginning of your safe space. 

I cannot wait to see you walking towards the person you were meant to be, living in your purpose and letting go of the baggage that you were not supposed to carry. I cannot wait for you to see how you are beautiful and worth it. Walk the journey. Heal yourself and the next generation 

As the sun rises, so will I. 

The sunrise is hope for a new day but it may be doom for another because of the patterns of life. But as the sun rises, I will look at my glass not as half full or half empty but at an angle that I have some space to fill for the day.

I will no longer carry the burden of yesterday which of course is easier said than done. But what good has it done over the years, has anything changed, or has it pulled me down to the ground?

I have realized I plan my life but ultimately, I do not direct it. But I will keep on planning because I know one sunrise things will fall into place. 

Today, the sun rose, what are you telling yourself?

It is easier to get entangled in our problems, stresses, and life challenges. It is easy to carry the burdens of life because that is what we know best. It is easy to forget that we have so much potential. It is sometimes safer to stay in our comfort zone because that is familiar territory.

And with the pandemic, we can get entangled in counting our losses and cursing. I mean things were just opening up, we were gaining ground and picking up the pieces of what was left of us. 

But the sun rose today, what choice do you have? 

With the sunrise, you have a choice to rise or have a pity party? I have come to realize, it is easy to have look down on ourselves because most have been condition to believe nothing good comes from them. 

But, let go of the baggage and burdens you have carried for years, it is too much burden. 

May the sun's rays help you know it is an opportunity to love and be loved. Some of you are afraid of loving and being loved because you have a few series of life experiences. Let the dawn of day, allow you to love.

Do what you need to do today. Stop procrastinating. Stop waiting for the perfect time, it will never come. You have today. 

Get out of that bed, enjoy the sunrise, and as the day unfold. The joy of a new day, is you have another opportunity to learn, unlearn and relearn. You have an opportunity to live. Feed your spirit with goodness and positivity. Choose battles worth fighting for and letting go. 

We cannot keep living life in a hopeless state. We cannot keep waiting for the perfect time. I hope every sunrise reminds you that it is a new day, new dawn. I hope every sunrise awakens the giant in you to achieve what you need to.

I hope every sunrise brings you closer to you and discovering yourself and your purpose.

 Our experiences shape who we are, how we act and interact with others.

Every woman has a story. It could be the painful story of losing someone you loved or realizing after three years that you were in a relationship with yourself. Now it sounds funny but there was a time it put you down and made you feel unworthy. 

The husband that cheated on you and after being caught he pretended for a week and went back to his ways. He was just sorry he got caught.

Your work is like a battlefield. You have to go the extra mile to prove that being a woman is not a limitation. 

I mean, we have so many experiences that have put us on the edge.

These and so much have led to you believing that you always have to be on the move proving something. You have to prove that you are beautiful, worthy, intelligent. You do not have time to relax or slow down. Always on the move. 

Because of the pain and hurts you believe that things have to be well defined from the word go. You keep pushing people away because you believe that nothing they say is true. You have been used to being lied to that you would rather believe the lies than the truth.

Sometimes, because fear resides in you, you believe that you have to be the one leading relationship. It is your way or the highway. 

You get startled when someone treats you right and you feel like there is a hidden agenda.

You are used to people not showing up such that when one shows up you are not sure how to react. You think something is off.

But, girl, relax. One, never let a crisis go to waste, learn from it. Discover yourself.

Learn that in this world, we are all running our race, run at your speed and design, you could choose to walk, crawl or run, what matters is you are moving.

Slow down. It is in our silence that we are rejuvenated and the direction gets clearer. Remember, you cannot save the world on your own so do not kill yourself trying. 

When you know your worth, you will realize you do not have to fight with anyone who throws a stone at you.

Believe you deserve better and you will attract better. Do not settle for less. And when you are treated right, do not be afraid because you deserve it, you are worth it. 

Girl, I hope you stop dwelling in the past. Look at it this way, your experiences molded you, pick the lessons, and grow yourself.

After your story, I hope you know that you are stronger than you think, I hope you know you deserve better and made for greatness.

And, after all, is said and done, remember it begins with you.

It begins with you loving yourself just as you are because ideally, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

It begins with you, realizing you are just okay just as you and you do not have to change to attract someone. The right one will come.

Love begins by you loving yourself, your strengths, and your flaws. Love begins by you understanding your purpose and who you need to align yourself with.

Regardless of your awful experiences, it gets to a point where you have to come face to face with it, not to dwell there but conquer it. You cannot keep saying you believe in love when you call all women gold-diggers and men dogs. If you do not change your narrative, All men will be the same and you will never see any efforts made to make the relationship work.

It needs you to stop the wounds from getting deeper, otherwise, you will bleed on others.

It will need you to define what you want, otherwise, you will attract and settle for any Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes your way as long as they can smile. They will drain you.

As you look or wait for love, it will need you to understand you are just complete as you are, the other party will compliment you. This will stop the frustrations of unrealistic expectations.

Waiting for love can be tricky because of life's pressures, but it will need you to understand that you need to be busy doing your things. Do not sit and wait for love for you to live.

Enjoy every day. Do not miss out on living life because you are waiting for love. Enjoy and love will find you along the way and if it doesn't, you are playing just as you are.

See, it will need you to realize you deserve better and you are worth more. 

It all begins with you being intentional in making your relationship work. It will not flow like manna without you putting efforts.

And there are days, you will need to walk away, not because you do not believe in love, but because you deserve better love.

Just because someone says they love, does not mean they truly mean it. Watch out for the actions more than the words because anyone can say they love you but not everyone will act.

It begins with you realizing your time will come, love will find you and the right one will do. When you do figure this out, you will stop resurrecting things that should be dead.

Love is beautiful, love is food to the soul and you deserve it. Live life, do you, fill yourself. The right one will come. Until then, you are okay in your singlehood.

Love can be found anytime, not just in February. Maybe yours will come in July. Whatever time, could you just live. Get out of that pity party and while at it rediscover yourself, love yourself a new, affirm your greatness, you will begin to glow

Three weeks into the year and hopefully it is will well with your soul. For some, the written resolutions are the road map. For others, they will just flow with what comes.

Regardless, I still hope you carry every day with intentionality. You have got to be intentional in how you live and that is why maybe we should pause, reflect, and make some changes.

What baggages are you carrying? What baggages are heavy on you. Some of us are already tired and it is the first month of the year. You are taking painkillers for other's headaches. Life is already tasting bitter.

What is in your circle of influence? What concerns you and can take control.

You are responsible for your behavior. You are responsible for your attitude. If your attitude is bad, it is up to you. The consequences of the actions you made are on you.

You can influence who will be in your circle of friends and who needs to be out.

Take some time and reflect, what are you trying to carry that is beyond you and maybe does not concern you.

Could it be you feel like you can change the weather patterns?

Oh, do you want to control someone's behaviors or attitudes towards you? 

What others decide to do is on them.

Take time to do your analysis of things going on in your life and what you can change. You will realize you have so much to work on you that you do not have time to focus on other's problems.

See, until you realize you are not a demigod and a superman You will try fixing everyone and everything.

Others' baggage will drain you completely until you become bitter with yourself because you feel as if you are not doing enough.

It is still too early in the year to let circumstances and people steal your joy.

You cannot control the weather, dress appropriately otherwise you will be the mother of all complainants wondering why it is raining in January. 

You cannot control traffic and how other drivers act on the road but you can control your attitude. Maybe the traffic is there to help you realize you need to slow down and relax and see what is around you.

Stop allowing yourself to be the carrier of everything that is thrown on you. It is okay to know that there are things beyond you and you can do nothing about. It is okay to know that some chapters are good but not worth opening. It is better to know what matters to you and what you can do to guard your space and peace. What is your circle of influence?